Dungeon Crawlers Radio - DCR Blog

Marvel Reacquires Rights to The Punisher and Blade

Sat, 15 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0800

It has been announced that Marvel has two dates slated for film releases in 2014, and of course there is a lot of speculation surrounding exactly what these movies will be. Kind of lost in the mix of this bit of news was an interesting bit:

Marvel has apparently reacquired/bought back the rights to The Punisher and Blade.

This should come as exciting news to fans of these characters as the Marvel in-house productions have been mostly the best stuff to hit the big screen out of all Marvel character films, so we may be seeing some (more) solid films featuring these characters.

Of course, the Blade franchise was pretty successful and helped to pave the way for R-rated superhero flicks but The Punisher seemed to struggle to find an audience over the course of two films. I personally didn’t mind the Thomas Jane version of the character and thought the first movie was a good build up to a darker and more gritty sequel but instead we got Punisher: War Zone.

It will be interesting to see what Marvel does with these characters in the future. My guess is we will most likely see reboots of both franchises as opposed to direct sequels, but the question will be whether or not we get appropriate R-rated versions or watered down PG-13 films. In either case it could be a while before we see or hear anything with Marvel busy with all of the Avengers heroes and a handful of films supposedly in the pipeline for a bunch of other characters including Dr. Strange and Iron Fist. While I’m not a huge fan of The Punisher and Blade, I enjoyed their films just fine and would definitely hit the theaters for another go around with them.

Writting Snippets

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 19:06:01 -0800

Hey Dungeon Crawler Radio Fans and listeners! For those aspiring writers be it for comic books, short stories, novels, or even story telling in your table top game. We introduce you to the wonderful ladies that are the creators of a wonderful weekly podcast Writing Snippets. This podcast comes out every monday that focuses on helping you with your writing.
On their weekly podcast they feature interviews, discussions, and most importantly tips for helping you with your writing. They have many resources available on their website for writers just like you. Not only that they have amazing give aways for their listeners!

They have had great interviews with authors Lisa Mangum, Tristi Pinkston, M.L. Forman and J Scott Savage. So this is a podcast to take note of. We ask that any of you interested in writing subscribe to this wonderful podcast today!!

Spiderman film has a title!

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 13:45:30 -0800

The new Spider-Man film starring Andrew Garfield is attracting a lot of attention lately. Be it the new suit, or the awkward pictures of said suit, everyone is talking about it. One thing that hasn’t been mentioned as of yet is what will the new film be called? Well now, thanks to the Hollywood Reporter, it can be told. The title for the Spidey franchise reboot is officially, Drum roll please!!
The Amazing Spider-Man. Which is a great title, it was rumored to be the original working title for Spider-Man 2, and It's great they decided to use it. It still says “Spider-Man” without having the same name as the first Raimi movie. Also included is a new image of the full suit. UPDATE: Now with ultra hi-res picture.

THE WORLDS THAT OUTGREW THEIR STORIES: Two Roads to Intellectual Property Success

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 07:05:07 -0800

This article was written by Philip Athans. I found it very compelling and wanted to share it with all our DCR listeners.

If you’ve been even dimly aware of the world around you for at least the last decade or so, you’ve probably heard the term “intellectual property” bandied about. If you haven’t, or aren’t sure what it means, an intellectual property, as defined by the World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO) “relates to items of information or knowledge, which can be incorporated in tangible objects at the same time in an unlimited number of copies at different locations anywhere in the world. The property is not in those copies but in the information or knowledge reflected in them. Intellectual property rights are also characterized by certain limitations, such as limited duration in the case of copyright and patents.”

Think of it this way: Star Wars was a really cool movie released in 1977. Add to that five more movies, Clone Wars, Force Unleashed, all those books for kids and adults, comic books, action figures, and so on, and Star Wars is an intellectual property—and what some corporations would refer to as a “global brand.”

In more and more instances as everyone from filmmakers to video game studios look to the success of brands like Star Wars or Harry Potter, there’s a sense that everything is more than the limits of its initial incarnation. Every movie, book, or game is at least a potential intellectual property.

For about the last decade and a half I was tasked with helping to maintain and develop a number of successful, long-running intellectual properties. Part of my job was to look far beyond each individual book or game product and both back over the existing canon and forward toward the lasting implications of every decision. Two of the most successful properties in the Wizards of the Coast (via TSR) portfolio are the Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance settings. To me these have been, for years, two sides of the same coin.

Both are long-lived, successful properties, sub-brands of the Dungeons & Dragons game, that have been brought to life in a number of media from pencil-and-paper role-playing games through best-selling novel series, and on to video games, animated films, comic books, etc. But what separated them, at least in my mind, is the initial approaches from which they were born.

For me, Faerûn (the Forgotten Realms setting) was a world created first, and characters and stories were added later. Krynn, meanwhile, was a setting created for the original Dragonlance Chronicles novel and D&D adventure module trilogy, and was further developed only in the service of a continuing series of sequels and prequels.

I’ve seen other properties take both approaches. The larger Star Trek IP grew out of the original TV series, so is similar to Dragonlance. World of Warcraft is a setting created to house your MMO character, and is open to a continuous stream of new content to keep you paying your subscription fee. In that way at least it’s like the Forgotten Realms, right?

If for nothing else but affirmation, I went to the fonts of all (or at least most—if I don’t qualify that at least a little, Jeff Grubb and Margaret Weis will kill me!) FR and DL wisdom: Ed Greenwood, creator of the Forgotten Realms setting; and Tracy Hickman, co-creator of Dragonlance.

“I agree with this assumption,” Ed Greenwood told me. “I know that the Realms was created with this intent, because I’m its creator and deliberately took this approach.”

But Tracy wasn’t as willing to let me off that easy. He told me he wasn’t sure my assumption, “is entirely accurate in the case of Dragonlance. It is true that the story was the foundation of Dragonlance and came out of the personal desire of both my wife [Laura Hickman] and myself to use role playing games as a medium of storytelling. You have to remember that at the time adventure games were largely of the ‘kill the monster, take its treasure, buy more weapons to kill bigger monsters’ variety. We wanted to introduce meaning into gaming through story.

“In practice, however, it became a ‘chicken and egg’ sort of issue. The game was being developed ahead of the story—which actually adversely affected the story itself. It wasn’t until we started writing story ahead of game . . . during the break between Dragons of Autumn Twilight and Dragons of Winter Night . . . that things actually smoothed out.”

Still, I think when you look at the relative timelines at work, my basic assumption bears out.”

Ed Greenwood elaborated: “[The Forgotten Realms world] began as a ‘shared setting’ for individual fantasy short stories I was writing (at the age of six, so none of the tales are, ahem, ‘classics’) in the same way as Fritz Leiber’s later Fafhrd & the Grey Mouser stories were then being published in (the Ted White era) Fantastic magazine, which I was then reading as issues appeared: Episodes centered on recurring characters (in my case, the fat, aging, wheezing swindler of a merchant, Mirt the Moneylender) that happened to all be set in the same world. [The world itself] was ‘in the background’ to the reader of just one story, but someone who read them all would over time learn more and more about the setting, and hopefully begin to enjoy and anticipate based on what they ‘knew’ about the imaginary setting.”

And at risk of making the eternally youthful Ed Greenwood feel old, I should point out that that was quite some time ago, especially in relation to Dragonlance’s comparatively brief bout with growing pains.

“By 1967 . . . I had hit upon the name and concept of ‘The Forgotten Realms,’ ” Ed went on, “and could see more of the setting. I was also following other characters besides Mirt. The results are in print, as the short story ‘One Comes, Unheralded, to Zirta.’ (printed in the collection The Best of the Realms, Book II: The Stories of Ed Greenwood, Wizards of the Coast, 2005)

Both FR and DL have lived a very, very long time and feature major best-sellers, so I won’t bother trying to choose sides, and make the case that one strategy is inherently better than the other, but still I felt compelled to ask both Ed and Tracy which approach they thought made for a better, more interesting property from the point of view of an author spending decades in the same world.

Ed Greenwood was “heading towards something I think is a major flaw, from the point of longevity, for a world that’s being used for games or collaborative and shared-setting novels, over time, as opposed to being the private playground of just one author: If the world is built around a single big epic, it can be too ‘narrow’ in scope to comfortably tell other satisfying tales. Or to put it another way: If the root tale of the setting is too ‘big,’ involving heroes who save the world, what do you do for an encore? Save it again?”

That got me thinking about my previous comparison of Dragonlance to Star Trek, and I’m finding myself questioning the validity of that comparison. Though the “world” of the Federation was created as a back-drop for the adventures of Captain Kirk and his intrepid crew of space explorers, the episodic format of the series required that that future universe grow with each new adventure, and to guarantee that there was something worth watching next week, the universe—the IP—of Star Trek had to remain open to new conflicts and challenges.

But it was still mostly about Kirk and crew, like Dragonlance is still mostly about the Heroes of the Lance. But it’s not entirely that simple, as Tracy Hickman points out:

“Story is the universal conveyor of meaning. Properly deployed story in game settings extends the game experience beyond the rules and the setting into the realm of change, growth and life application. I think it is a mistake to fixate on the specific and more tangible elements of the setting; one needs to have a grasp of the overall tone and message that a ‘property’—whatever that is—conveys to the reader. Dragonlance isn’t meaningful to readers because it has dragons and lances. It’s meaningful because it conveys a certain attitude, viewpoint, promise and meaning. The same is true with Forgotten Realms. I don’t think it is a question of approach . . . I think it is a question of deep content that is found beyond the words and the rules.”

Leave it to Tracy Hickman to hit the intellectual property nail firmly on the head with those eleven words: “deep content that is found beyond the words and the rules.”

And a successful property requires care and feeding. I always described myself, in my roll for some years as the Forgotten Realms line editor at Wizards of the Coast, as a “shepherd.” FR was only partially and only temporarily under my care. Like a doctor, my first responsibility was to do no harm.

Ed Greenwood feels that “it’s important to emphasize that the success of either approach is in how they’re handled, not the inevitable result of flaws and strengths in one approach versus the other.

“It’s certainly easier,” he went on, “if multiple creators are at work in [a shared setting], to tell different stories centered around different characters—and because writers are all individuals who tell stories in different ways, the collective result will inevitably be richer than the work of one writer. However, there may well be (and usually is) a cost in coherency and consistency.”

To me, this is where a good, responsible, creative IP management team comes in, with or without a strong central manager in the form of an editor, an empowered creator, or what TV producers call a “show runner.” Somewhere, that coherency and consistency that Ed spoke of has to be contained in some kind of document. If the secrets of what makes the property the property exist only in one person’s head, or in any other form that cannot be readily shared, disaster is the only possible result. The nature of the Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance D&D campaign setting game products—detailed encyclopedias for each world, in multiple volumes—were extraordinarily helpful, but other properties will only have those “bibles” in the background, available to writers, producers, editors, etc. And woe, and I mean woe, to anyone who tries to manage even the least complex IP without them.

“A property gets too big for any one person the moment they haven’t time to enjoy doing a good job on published works associated with that property, or products are licensed that they can’t themselves create with the same skill,” Ed Greenwood said. “I can draw, but not well enough to produce the gorgeous painted covers I want on Realms novels. Nor can I create lunch boxes well enough to produce a line of Realms lunch boxes without holding up all Realms products while I learn how. The moment that happens, the ‘too big’ moment has been reached.

“Before that moment happens, a team should have been developed in which trust is paramount (regardless of the inevitable creative tensions), and a shared vision (and creators’ rules, such as who has the ultimate decisions and so on) settled upon, so the fights can be about creative details (i.e. benefiting the setting) and not about turf, power, office politics, personal enrichment, or anything else.”

Tracy Hickman: “I believe it comes down to respect and trust. No single person can write and control every single aspect of a project this large. In the 1970s or even early 80s a single person could sit down and write the code for a computer game. Now, it requires a huge staff and a budget equivalent to a movie to produce a computer or console game. The same is true of any large gaming IP.

“But I believe it comes down to how you control the product. I believe that management of continuity should be like holding a bunch of marbles in your hand. If you squeeze too tightly—try to control every aspect of the continuity or generate it yourself—then the marbles start flying out between your fingers and you lose your marbles. If you open your hand and let everyone working on the property do whatever they want then you lose any structure, direction, or focus as everyone does their own thing. Again, no marbles.

“But if you give a product a vision, a direction and a structure within which everyone can explore their own ideas . . . then you don’t have to sweat the individual details because everyone being on the same page and within the same structural parameters of the unified vision.”

I’ll boil it down to what I’ll call Phil’s First Rule of Intellectual Property Management: Write everything down. Which then leads to Phil’s Second Rule: Read what you just wrote, and read it again and again, especially when you don’t think you have to.

Ed Greenwood has rules of his own:

“Good property development looks down the road and anticipates.

“Always apply my base design principles for the Realms:

“1. Don’t blow up the moon (this is Jeff Grubb’s wording, but I already had that same idea; ‘don’t break the toys you find when you arrive’ was the way I put it). This stops one creative project or person from wrecking the entire show, however unintentionally or for ‘good’ reasons.

“2. For every possibility you close off, put three in its place (so if you tell the reader where the lost princess went and what happened to her, you also need to subtly put three new mysteries for them to chase into the Realms). This avoids bleeding the setting of life and ‘ending the story.’

“3. Entertain all ideas brought to the table, but make sure you turn them all on their heads to see if they work better twisted in an unintended or unforeseen way. This is where new blood and energy comes from.”

When I asked Ed what he might do differently if he had an opportunity to go back in time to the very inception of the Forgotten Realms world, he went back to the subject of who is in control, and to what degree any one person can be in complete creative control of a bigger, more complex property: “I would have kept some measure of creative control over the world, however short-lived, by accepting that offer to become a TSR staffer ‘in charge of’ the Realms. Not to stop the various designers going wild with the stories they wanted to tell, or ‘stay on top’ so the best selling novels were mine, but to avoid inconsistencies and misunderstandings.”

Tracy Hickman had a similar, if a bit more philosophical answer:

“I suppose it is tempting to think I could have insisted on having more control over the setting and its continuity but that would not be right. Dragonlance, whatever it became, was more than just my vision—for good or ill it became what it was because of the influence of countless designers, writers, and production artists of all kinds down through the years. I may be the father of Dragonlance but children always grow up and never in the ways their parents expect of them.”

So here we have two similar settings, indelibly linked, if not at first, to the Dungeons & Dragons game, that started in very different ways and have both been around longer than some of the younger authors—and at least two editors I know—have been alive. I had to ask, then, how did they live this long?

Tracy Hickman blames you: “Every day I acknowledge the fact that longevity in a product is not something that I do, but is measured entirely by the actions of our audience. We provide them with our best efforts—longevity is a measure of their reading our words or playing our games. That is action on the part of the audience.”

Ed Greenwood has a similar feeling in terms of the fans’ desire to keep exploring the Realms. “Some gamers decry the endless stream of Realms products or the masses of background detail,” Ed told me, “but the point is that for decades, far more gamers have lapped it all up, cried for more, and are still crying for more. Anything we’ve explained in detail has been discussed, argued over, and analyzed in depth. Anything we haven’t explained has been speculated over and demanded, repeatedly. Anything, from small details of passing fashion to the fates or mysterious pasts of minor supporting characters.”

And both IPs are still going strong, so what of the future? Successful intellectual properties have a way of outliving their creators, and certainly outlive the occasional editor or two.

According to Tracy Hickman: “Whenever new people coming into something like Forgotten Realms or Dragonlance, the first thing they want to do is ‘fix it’, ‘change it’ or ‘make it better.’ It’s natural for new people to want to make their mark on something like this and, in truth, I wish they would. Dragonlance and Forgotten Realms both have to be living, breathing and changing things, evolving if they are going to survive.

“The problem is that too often new people coming into something like this have no real understanding of the history of a property like this or its evolution over time. They don’t have a grasp of the foundations on which it was all built in the first place and only an obscure notion of what the IP is ‘about.’ We were pioneers in our day trying to figure out how to merge story with games. We made a lot of mistakes and we learned from them. We certainly learned more from the mistakes than from our successes. And over time we came to understand what ‘Dragonlance’ was about in the meta-sense.

“What I would hope for in the next generation of developers is that they would take the time and the opportunity to learn what made Dragonlance ‘right’ in the first place—its development history and original vision before they put their hand to changing it. If there has been a consistent problem with Dragonlance in particular, it has been that new people coming into the product ignore the foundation, vision and roots of the product and, in doing so, keep having to learn the lessons that have already been hard won by those who went before them.

“So, I suppose what I would most value in those who come after me is a respect and understanding of the great work that so many other people have done before them.”

Ed Greenwood’s sentiments were basically identical: “I most value the ability to ‘think Realms,’ and express it. In other words, to respect what has come before and mesh with it, treat the Realms as a real place, and make all changes and developments seem to be part of the unfolding history of this real world known as the Realms, not something tacked on or jarring with what we’ve already seen in print, or ‘it’s not a change; it’s always been this way, what you read before was wrong.’ To take that latter route would be disrespectful to the creators who came before and to the readers and gamers who already use and love the setting, because they are made to feel duped, or less brilliant than the new guys on the block because they loved and identified with something that is now being ‘improved’ or ‘fixed’ or worse, openly sneered at.

“I most value the capacity to love, and express that love, in people who create in worlds I’ve created, or game or read in those worlds. What goes around, comes around: love, and the love comes back to you.”

The next Catwoman!

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 10:13:48 -0800

Since it was announced that Anne Hathaway had been cast as Selina Kyle in The Dark Knight Rises, the internet has been asking, “Okay, she’s been cast as Selina Kyle, but will she be Catwoman?” Well, Bleeding Cool‘s Brendon Connelly was able to ask Wally Pfister – Nolan’s cinematographer – a few questions about the beautiful Ms. Hathaway and may have been led to answer a few telling questions:

Talking of the screentests, Kevin asked:

“So, Wally you shot Anne’s screen test for Catwoman?”

To which he replied in the affirmative. That’s a yes to Kevin saying “Catwoman”, not “Selina Kyle”. Hmmm.

Pfister added, a little later:

“She looks phenomenal in the wardrobe.”

I couldn’t let that lie. Later, I came back to it and asked if this meant what it seems to mean:

“Brendon, I’d get fired and I wouldn’t even get to shoot the picture… I can’t really say, but I definitely want to be around next year…”

So, did Pfister let the cat out of the bag (PUN!)? In my opinion, this seems to be awfully telling that we may get to see Anne Hathaway suit up as Catwoman, but as with any of these cryptic interview answers we can never be too sure – especially with a Nolan film . . .

The Dark Knight Rises is slated for a Summer release next year and Chistopher Nolan has stated he plans to start shooting in about 12 weeks!

New Captain America Pic on cover of Empire.

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 10:10:35 -0800

A new picture of Captain America has debuted on the cover of Empire!

This is a great Cap costume, I really couldn’t imagine a better “real-world” interpretation of a costume that definitely wouldn’t translate straight over from the comic books! Of course, there’s some people pointing out that this big “debut” is on the cover of a British magazine – but really, what does it matter? Empire is a solid publication and it’s not like Captain America is only being released here in the US.

In any case, look, enjoy, comment!

New Spiderman Pics!

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 10:06:50 -0800

On Location News have posted a slew of new photos from the set of Marc Webb’s Spider-Man reboot (if you couldn’t tell by the over-zealous use of watermarks)! These pictures give us the best look at the new Spider-Man suit to date, and I have decided I like it.

There seems to be a pretty solid line drawn in the geek community with regards to liking and hating the new Spidey suit. The suit brings in a good mix of Ultimate Spider-Man, 2099 Spider-Man, and Classic Spider-Man to give us fans something new instead of just a rehash of the movie costume that came before it. Webb and company have taken some liberties with the costume while still staying faithful to the “feel” of the original costume and we can’t wait to see it in action on the big screen. Even if you disagree and hate the costume, keep in mind that the most important thing is that it’s a solid movie – I firmly believe that if the script and acting are all great, those who hate the costume will be willing to overlook it, and maybe even come to like it! Marc Webb’s untitled Spider-Man film is set for release on July 3, 2012.

Enjoy the pictures below and feel free to share your thoughts on the costume in the comments below!

Look up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane, No! its our new Superman!

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 10:01:50 -0800

Warner Bros. has officially announced that Henry Cavill will be playing the lead role of Clark Kent/Superman in Zack Snyder’s Superman film, which is targeted for a December 2012 release:

Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures announced today that Henry Cavill has won the coveted role of Superman, the iconic superhero. The film will be directed by Zack Snyder, who stated, “In the pantheon of superheroes, Superman is the most recognized and revered character of all time, and I am honored to be a part of his return to the big screen. I also join Warner Bros., Legendary and the producers in saying how excited we are about the casting of Henry. He is the perfect choice to don the cape and S shield.” Charles Roven, Emma Thomas, Christopher Nolan and Deborah Snyder are the producers of the film. The screenplay is being written by David S. Goyer based on a story by Goyer and Nolan. Thomas Tull and Lloyd Phillips are serving as executive producers. Cavill recently wrapped production on “The Cold Light of Day” and stars in the upcoming “Immortals,” opening this fall. Targeted for release in December 2012, the new Superman movie will be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company. In the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t seen anything Cavill has been in, but he has had feature roles in the film Stardust and the TV series, The Tudors. Going off just looks alone, I could see this guy donning the iconic red and blue’s. Personally, I’m excited to see Mr. Snyder’s take on Superman, I think he’ll be able to breathe some much needed life into the struggling franchise.

I'm sure some fans are a little miffed that Brandon Routh won’t be getting another shot at it especially since he looked like a near clone to Christopher Reeves, but I’m sure we’ll get over it if this film delivers.

Deadline Hollywood went on to report that Cavill has been a front runner for the part before, in both McG and Brett Ratner’s iterations of the character, and he was a frontrunner for Nolan’s Batman, losing the part to Christian Bale. He was also a front runner for James Bond but it was decided he was too young before they chose Daniel Craig.

I am sure I won’t be the first to raise the question about casting a British actor as an American Icon… I understand with some other characters (like Batman) being able to be cast around a little differently, but will there be a question that this British kid is representing Truth, Justice, and The American Way?

We will have to see when this movie is released.

The Offical Green Lantern Trailer

Wed, 17 Nov 2010 08:53:45 -0800

For many of you out there I am sure it is no surprise that I am super excited to finally see the trailer for the Green Lantern movie. With so few pictures coming out and the horrible Entertainment Weekly cover that just made the suit look well rather dumb in my opinion. I was geeking out over the fact that DC was finally goingt o push out a movie that was Superman or Batman. That they were finally going to take a chance one of their other line ups!

And after looking at that cover I was honestly put out and really doubting if I wanted to go see this movie. I am a huge Green Lantern fan! And I am so happy to see that the movie will live up to the character and that I am excited to see Ryan Reynolds playing Hal Jordan. The suit looks amazing, you see a brief glimpse of Kilowog in the trailer as well. I have posted the trailer here on this blog entry for all to enjoy!

"In brightest day, in blackest night,

No evil shall escape my sight.

Let those who worship evil's might

Beware my power--Green Lantern's light!"

Business as usual for A Guy Named Joe

Thu, 11 Nov 2010 12:15:43 -0800

If only every session of Encounters could go down this well, I think I would stop all gripes and complaints about 4th Edition forever. But before this tale begins, I would like to preface with a few details. First, the characters:

"D"- a halfling "assassin". Below average intelligence. By below, I mean *well* below. He pronounces his name "Caboose". Imagine Brick Tamland as a hobbit.

"Sinclair" - a moody, goth "cleric", who, for some reason I can't define, specializes in healing. Famed for K.O.'ing a guard with a stone, on her first try.

"Tristan Gray" - a human mercenary looking to start his own merc business. Never short on charm, skill, or gold. (That's my character, if you haven't guessed by now)

Now, the second part of the preface, the setup: The whole thing started when Tristan became so incensed over having his favorite shirt pierced by an arrow, he decided to bill the town, namely a man named "Benwick", for the repairs and cleaning. I will clear this up now, Tristan can be a butt hole at times. The three of us have been chasing down a banker named "Ronnik" (I think that's how it's spelled) for Benwick and remove an evil cult of Tiamat (a dragon god). We just got down a zipline leading to the clearing where we finally cornered Ronnik. Now that we have the setup, enjoy the rest of the epic comedy.

Everyone rolls their initiatives like normal. Both of Ronnik's henchman are killed without much fanfare. It was subduing him that things started getting pretty bonkers. Tristan tackles him down to the ground and attempts to pin him down. Ronnik is able to see through Gray's ruse of being much weaker than he looks and powers his way out. This is a common theme for Gray, as he is much more of a con artist than a mercenary, but I digest. As Ronnik gets to his feet, this dialogue happens:

"D" - "Hey buddy, look over here"
(The player, who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent, turns to our DM and says, and I quote:

"I do the Truffle Shuffle to distract him."

The remaining three of us, two players and the DM, stop what we're doing in shock. D then proceeds to do the "Truffle Shuffle".)

DM - "Ummm. Okay. Normally that takes a bluff check or..." (trails off, dumbfounded)

Gray - (looking at Ronnik, trying his best to be nonplussed by the spectacle) "To think, Ronny, he's on *my* team."

This whole time, Sinclair is, for the first time since the first session this season, without words. Ronnik is still distracted by the Truffle Shuffle (who wouldn't be?) so I decided to up the ante a bit and try executing a wrestling move I've seen done several times by A.J. Styles, but can't seem to pull off myself. Without wasting time getting back to my feet (that would be boring), I nip myself up, wrap my legs around his head, flip him head over heels and take him back to the ground. In wrestling vernacular, this is called a "headscissors". In D and D terms, many might call this a "waste of a turn". In Guy Named Joe terms, this is called "business as usual".

DM - "Wow. That is going to take one hell of an athletics check. That's sheer athleticism you're using. What's your current modifier?"

Gray - (out of character) "Plus zero".

DM - "Yeah. Well..."

Gray - (still out of character) "Do I have any chance of making it?"

DM - "Yeah, I don't see why not."

Gray - (OOC) "Sweet, I'll take it." (back in character) "Oh, no you don't!"

(A Guy Named Joe rolls his d20.)

I'll make it short, so I can avoid all the alarmed cursing that went on for several minutes, and the shock that followed that. Ronnik soon found himself back on the ground, flung over himself by a man who, by all accounts, never got back to his feet, nor actually tried to lift him with his hands. Look it up on YouTube, kids. Its a real move, I swear. But the story gets better from here. Ronnik once again gets up and attempts to flee the scene, but not before one last attempt at awesomeness by A Guy Named Joe. Gray springboards off the same table that has the still 'Shuffling "D" on it and tackle Ronny down.

Now, let me just say that karma, well, she can be a real downer. Two words come to mind at this point: Air Ball. Once things calmed down at the table (we spent the next 3 minutes or so laughing about the events so far), we just barely managed to subdue Ronny and revive Benwick's friends. Before Benny was to deliver his lines about "doing a great service" and "you will be honored" and stuff like that, the moment finally arrived: time to deliver the Invoice for services rendered. I had taken the time to physically draft up an invoice, just so I can savor this exact moment. I even signed it in character. Sinclair even signed it. Unfortunately, so did "D". I hand the bill to Benny, he looks at it for five seconds, and hands it back.

DM - (as Benwick) "Is this serious?"

Gray - "Sure is. I figured since you're a first time employer that we would waive our usual retainer..."

DM - (as Benwick) "No, the company listing."

Where I put on the invoice "Sign name here", "D" had traced the words "Sign name here", and scratched out the word "here" and replaced it with "hear". I look at "D" with a scowl that is crumbling under the weight of suppressed laughter.

Gray - "What the hell is this?"

"D" - "I didn't understand what you were trying to say. 'Sign name hurry'? You have terrible spelling Tristan."

Take a second and slowly read the last few lines. Can you spot how many things are wrong? If you answered 'everything', then you are not alone. Here's the real punchline to this whole train wreck. We escort Benny and his friends back to town, with Ronny in tow. Despite the embarrassing invoice, Benny decides to gives us the reward he planned on giving us before Tristan's favorite shirt was ever damaged. "How cool of him", I thought. The reward turned out to be about 20 gold pieces more than the invoice was made out for!

Let this be a lesson about modesty, listeners. It can be horribly overrated. Thank you for laughing alongside me today. As a reward, especially for those who have never seen "The Goonies", a visual demonstration of the "The Truffle Shuffle".

XOXO,
-A Guy Named Joe